What a colossal disappointment.
Warning! This review might be a bit dazed because they made very strong caipirinhas in the bar I went to before the movie, drank a few beers during the screening and I might be hanging a bit now.
The reason that got me super thrilled about this movie was one only: the trailer. Easily one of the best in Hollywood history: 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen is synced to the action, while some of the best one liners are said, I mean, what can go wrong? As I sadly learned last night, quite a lot actually.
This is the film that every comic book fan was expecting because let’s be honest, no one relates to politically correct people, the villains are fun, exciting, unpredictable and do all the stuff that we all want to do and have the life that we’d like to enjoy (deep inside you know it’s true). This group of super baddies is every nerd's wet dream.
The movie literally just came out but people have been going crazy over Suicide Squad for about a year, half the girls on this planet dressed up as Harley Quinn last Halloween, Funko Pop vinyls of our favourite scoundrels have been selling for a while and there’s been talks about sequels for months.
What does this mean? The hype was way too much and killed the movie as we all expected it to be the best thing you ever laid your eyes on, but unfortunately it didn’t live up to the extra high expectations everybody had.
Here’s a breakdown of what I think of the main cast:
The Joker looks like Lil Wayne dipped in acid and laughs like the Count from Sesame Street (Seriously check both out on youtube). Leto didn’t find his own Joker the way his predecessors did, and if you are going to the cinema because you expected to see a lot of your favourite Arkham Asylum resident, you will be let down as Margot Robbie’s ass gets more screen time than him.
I could talk about Harley all day as she steals the scene being demented and hot as we expected also she gets the most laughs. One thing baffles me more than the others about her story: was she a stripper and/or a whore when she was with Joker?
Deadshot is cool as hell and the most normal out of the bunch (boring!) I would probably wouldn’t care about a spinoff entirely about him as it would be half him shooting people from the safety of tall buildings and the other half being a perfect father to his daughter (yawn!) .
Enchantress has the potential to be the best character but needs a lot more explaining as the constant sense of let’s-try-to-ram-as-much-as-we-can-in-90-minutes feeling was heavy on her plot. If there’s one full length that needs to come out of this flick is her story.
Killer Croc… what was his/its deal? Was he/it a ordinary crocodile and was thrown into radioactive waters one day? Did he just come out of his human mother looking like that? I mean, if is the latter and she had intercourse with an alligator I'm happy to accept it, but just say it!
Captain Boomerang (the actor who play him is actually super hot in real life, look him up!) is as you can imagine from his name is a cheap Australian stereotype-fest as he not only has a boomerang as a weapon of choice, but he’s also holding a beer can in his hand in every scene he is in – really?
El Diablo has the darkest backstory, even the other baddies cringed when he told it, but again, what the fuck is his deal? Was he an actual demon? I'm confused.
I think we can all agree the real villain here is Amanda Weller, I mean, what kind of fucked up life she had to end up being such a mean bitch?
For you Ben Affleck fans, Batman has a small cameo and if you stay after the credits there’s a tiny nod of Ezra Miller as the Flash in the next year’s Justice League – hells yea! That was probably the highlight of the movie for me and also the very small part that Common had.
There are a few problems I have with this film:
1) The plot is basically non existent, I'm sorry but putting a clique of evil people together to fight a greater evil is just lazy;
2) Some of the most dangerous, cold blooded and straight up crazy criminals on the planet became best friends for life in a space of a couple of hours but the real issues here is that;
3) There was way too much on the plate. Everything was rushed, I think the longest backstory is a couple of minutes, the rest of them literally get a few seconds;
4) Soundtracks has great songs but they were just there as fillers instead of adding anything to the actual film.
All in all Suicide Squad is an average movie that costed a whopping 175 million USD to make. Hollywood, for the love of god, next time spend a little less money on CGI that no one really cares about and invest the dollars in hiring a screenwriter that won’t make a mess out of a movie that had the potential to be legendary – for fuck sake, just get your priorities straight!